AHumanBeing
October 6th, 2008, 01:20 PM
(I have no idea why I sat down and wrote this but alas...)
((( Two men are sitting a table inside of a dimmly lit Martini bar/Grill. The atmosphere is pretty typical of a
nicer style downtown restauraunt. They're both mulling over their menus. )))
Guy 1: And that's when I told her, absolutely no more anal beads.
Guy 2: Wait, she didn't like them? How did she NOT know that before..
Guy 1: No, no.. they were uh.. they for me.
Guy 2: ((( Long pause ))) Okay, we're gonna go ahead and make sure we don't say things like anymore without, some kind of warning. Because that's, you know, not something I ever wanted to hear. And not even with the
intent to use it against you, because that's pretty intense. It's just one of those things you just don't want to hear.
Guy 1: Yeah, that's fair.
((( They continue to browse their menus )))
Guy 2: This looks good.
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: Picture this... ((( He reads from the menu ))) A seared tuna steak, lightly slathered in a delicious honey glaze, accompanied with water chestnuts and...
Guy 1: Wait. How can it be, "lightly" slathered?
Guy 2: You know, just gently apply a lot of... glaze.
Guy 1: That doesn't make any sense. Think about it. The word "slathered", and "lightly" totally contradict each other. It's impossible to lightly slather anything.
Guy 2: Well maybe technically but... listen, it's a fucking tuna steak with, and remember this key point, a delicious honey glaze. I don't think the gramatical integrity of their menu changes how sweet this sounds.
Guy 1: Well in all honesty, if they can't properly write out a description for their food, you know, I'm just not sure I'd be prepared to let them make me a gourmet meal.
Guy 2: Can you make a gourmet meal?
Guy 1: No.
Guy 2: Then what are you complaining about?
Guy 1: I can't "LEGALLY" own a gun in the New York due to certain circumstances that I am appealing, but that doesn't mean when I want one I'll just go out and buy one from any old guy off the street. It's gotta be a legitimate criminal. You know, someone who sells the shit out of his winnebago, not his trunk. Trunks are just tacky, totally unprofessional.
Guy 2: Hmm, that makes sense in a completely ridiculous way I guess. But I'm not seeing the connection with slathered tuna steaks.
Guy 1: Weelllll my metaphorically challenged friend...Since I can't make a seared tuna steak, "lightly" slathered in a delicious honey glaze, if I want one, I'm expecting the people running the place to have to decency to at least omit the word "lightly" if it's going to immidiately preceed the word, "slathered". That's just unprofessional.
Guy 2: Alright, I see your point now. You should have just said that.
((( END )))
((( Two men are sitting a table inside of a dimmly lit Martini bar/Grill. The atmosphere is pretty typical of a
nicer style downtown restauraunt. They're both mulling over their menus. )))
Guy 1: And that's when I told her, absolutely no more anal beads.
Guy 2: Wait, she didn't like them? How did she NOT know that before..
Guy 1: No, no.. they were uh.. they for me.
Guy 2: ((( Long pause ))) Okay, we're gonna go ahead and make sure we don't say things like anymore without, some kind of warning. Because that's, you know, not something I ever wanted to hear. And not even with the
intent to use it against you, because that's pretty intense. It's just one of those things you just don't want to hear.
Guy 1: Yeah, that's fair.
((( They continue to browse their menus )))
Guy 2: This looks good.
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: Picture this... ((( He reads from the menu ))) A seared tuna steak, lightly slathered in a delicious honey glaze, accompanied with water chestnuts and...
Guy 1: Wait. How can it be, "lightly" slathered?
Guy 2: You know, just gently apply a lot of... glaze.
Guy 1: That doesn't make any sense. Think about it. The word "slathered", and "lightly" totally contradict each other. It's impossible to lightly slather anything.
Guy 2: Well maybe technically but... listen, it's a fucking tuna steak with, and remember this key point, a delicious honey glaze. I don't think the gramatical integrity of their menu changes how sweet this sounds.
Guy 1: Well in all honesty, if they can't properly write out a description for their food, you know, I'm just not sure I'd be prepared to let them make me a gourmet meal.
Guy 2: Can you make a gourmet meal?
Guy 1: No.
Guy 2: Then what are you complaining about?
Guy 1: I can't "LEGALLY" own a gun in the New York due to certain circumstances that I am appealing, but that doesn't mean when I want one I'll just go out and buy one from any old guy off the street. It's gotta be a legitimate criminal. You know, someone who sells the shit out of his winnebago, not his trunk. Trunks are just tacky, totally unprofessional.
Guy 2: Hmm, that makes sense in a completely ridiculous way I guess. But I'm not seeing the connection with slathered tuna steaks.
Guy 1: Weelllll my metaphorically challenged friend...Since I can't make a seared tuna steak, "lightly" slathered in a delicious honey glaze, if I want one, I'm expecting the people running the place to have to decency to at least omit the word "lightly" if it's going to immidiately preceed the word, "slathered". That's just unprofessional.
Guy 2: Alright, I see your point now. You should have just said that.
((( END )))